How to Pray When You Feel Too Broken to Pray

This book is for moments of crisis, times when spontaneous prayer just doesn’t come easily.

As someone who has struggled with times of acute depression, anxiety and self harm, I am very aware that prayer – communicating with God — and expressing what your body and mind are feeling can be incredibly challenging. There have been many times when I’ve felt too broken, too shut down, too overwhelmed to pray.

The first thing I want to highlight is that it’s okay to be silent, to have times when caring for your own safety and well-being is a priority. There are also times when the primary response to how you are feeling, is seeking the love and care of others and accessing specialist support from healthcare professionals. This book is not a substitute for expert medical help or specialist psychological and pastoral care.

Once those priorities are met, if you want to pray, if you feel that pull towards God, here are some ways forward.

• When you can't even read - silence, with intention to God can be a prayer in itself. I found moments of silence challenging. Meditation, at the most acute times, too overwhelming. But silence and connecting with the breath, with intention, to be present with the God who is always alongside, can be valuable.
• Just reading prayers aloud or silently counts as prayer - there have been times when my thoughts have been too chaotic to pray, too anxious to be helpful, too critical of myself to be compassionate. At those moments, if I’ve had the energy, just reading prayers aloud, or silently, has enabled me to connect with God, to still my soul.
• Breathing prayers – breath prayers offer a very simple way of praying. You take a short word or phrase and say it, usually silently (on an in breath), and then another on an out breath. For instance, I sometimes use:

• The Jesus Prayer - there is an ancient prayer, which has been used for centuries as a simple repeated prayer. I sometimes use a shortened version when even reading, or complex prayers feel too much:

You can create a rhythm of praying this prayer on an inhale and exhale, bringing your focus back to the words every time your thoughts threaten to overwhelm you.

It is a simple cry for help, a cry for the mercy and compassion from the Son of God, the one who knows what it is to suffer and be alone.

• Praying the same prayer for days/weeks is okay - Sometimes lingering on one prayer or passage of scripture for a sustained time can be helpful. The repetition can become a comfort, sometimes embedding the words deep down.
• Using your body - prayer can be intention and wordless. For a time walking became a prayerful practice for me. It was the time I felt connected to God, even if my thoughts were too chaotic to form prayers.

Sometimes just placing a hand on the heart and breathing or focusing on the light of a candle, can be a prayer.

Not everyone can use or make words, so prayer is more than just written or spoken.

Sometimes prayer for me was creative, the writing of a poem, or even the making of bread (which became a spiritual practice for a time).